Letter from Benson

Isn't he the sweetest? Thought I'd put this up here to keep it safe since there's a high chance of me losing this at some point.

Looking Forward to Looking Back

I have no idea why I didn't post this before, but I got nostalgic (New Year?) and was looking back at my blog and found this unpublished post from the end of my time working at Saint Francis. It's a bit soppy, but also kinda fun, so I figured I'd add it to the collection, even though no one is going to read it!

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It really doesn't seem long now until I go home. In an attempt to mentally prepare myself for that I've written a list of things I'm looking forward to when I get home:

• Being able to go to the supermarket and buy whatever I want any time of day or night with minimal effort and being able to get really good food in local restaurants without having to drive >1hour and then wait >1hour for the food
• Seeing all my friends and family. Yes you are second after the food :p - my replacement friends here are much better than the replacement food!
• Not feeling like a minority the whole time - not being a spectacle in the street and living in a culture that I grew up in and am therefore totally familiar with
• Having consistent senior support and not being expected to do things that are way above my level of competence. Whilst I've been very careful not to do things that I don't feel I should be doing, but I've been constantly at the edge of my limit and have a few times had to do things I didn't feel comfortable with due to lack of anyone else available to do them - like the first time I did a ventoux delivery independently, which was only my fourth time of ever doing one, because my supervisor was unreachable and there was fetal distress.
• Cheese (it deserves a bullet point of its own...)
• Not having so many bugs everywhere! Although I'm so used to them now it'll probably seem a little strange not to have them.
• Buying a car and the attached freedom.

Things I'm going to miss about living in Katete:

• How incredibly friendly everyone is here. I know sometimes it can be annoying being such a novelty as the white girl but that aside, it's so nice how incredibly friendly everyone is. Whenever I take the bus or go to the market strangers always stop for a chat/hand me their baby/offer me a lift or directions
• The huge amounts of practical experience I'm getting here. Whilst working at the limit of what I can cope with is both mentally and physically exhausting, I know when I go home and am just going to be putting cannulas in and if I'm lucky being allowed to close the skin at the end of the operation, I will be totally bored.
• The relaxed lifestyle - things are much more basic, but that's a good thing.
• The crazy projects, how easy it is to decide to build a fire pit and spit roast a goat or skin and gut ducks for Christmas
• How cheap and tasty seasonable fruits and vegetables are - it's so awesome that in mango season you can buy a huge bucket full of mangoes for 40p and in avocado season there are the best avocados readily available and how cheap lemons are right now so we can have home made lemonade every week, and the novelty doesn't wear off because soon enough we're onto the next season
• My main girl Jess Cat, of course! It's funny how obsessed we've all become with cats despite the fact that none of us have them at home or were even that keen on getting them in the first place. Almost all the English doctors have a kitten here and there has been a lot of discussion on the possibility of taking them home. Turns out that's a very lengthly and expensive procedure so one I won't be pursuing...
• Living on campus with so many good friends and being able to hang out with them any time with no fixed plans/scheduling and all the spontaneous shenanigans that come with that

The main thing stopping me from moving here indefinitely is how stressful it can be working in the hospital. The hours generally are OK, but there's always that underlying level of anxiety that I may be (and frequently am) put in a position of far too much responsibility at any given moment. I definitely plan on coming back to work here or somewhere similar in the future when I've got a few more years experience under my belt, so hopefully some of that anxiety will be reduced.

I was chatting with one of the student midwives about what a great time I've had here the other day and he was saying people back home are going to start calling me "When I was in Zambia" because I'll be saying that so much. Probably true, but I'll try not to be too annoying!

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Not sure that I avoided the last point! But luckily after a slow start my new job in England has been totally awesome - tonnes of experience and not too much responsibility.